I am paying the piper for my little jig of disaster with the mac and cheese temptress. I'm up a couple of pounds from yesterday. Yesterday I was 331.8 and today I am 333.9. :(
However, I still got up and went for my walk and I did my meditation last night as promised. I also took a mini 10 minute walk last night to continue to try to appease the mac and cheese gods.....I don't know if it worked but I'm pushing forward!!!! Onward lifestyle changing soldier!!!! I also skipped my nightcap. Not willingly but either way I made it through. Didn't fall asleep until after 1am but I feel very rested.
I plan to go walk through the county park this weekend. They have a nature trail. Shanna went already and she liked it, so I must see.....
I have been taking all of my meds for my bs/bp as well. I am being good. It feels good to be good, most of the time anyhoo.
Since I have been walking this week it is KILLING ME to go up the stairs at work. Why is that??????? ugh. Well, I hope everyone has a wondermuss day and loves themselves just the way you are at this moment in time!!! Hugs to me and you!
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
10/23/13 - Morning
So, I cheated last night when I danced with the devil....that devil's name you ask???? Cheesy Cheeseburger Macaroni!!!!!!! Shanna makes this AMAZING cheeseburger mac and I can not keep myself from eating it. It started with me asking her to make it for "Cadence". Then is turned into, "I will just have a small spoonful". Then rapidly (and without fail might I add) went into overdrive.....picture: me, spoon, skillet.......end of story
My daughter stood behind me saying "Just stop eating it, Mom"and I was all "I can't!!!!" It was, in a word, DELICIOUS. However, I do have some remorse today as I was doing well. Long story, short I was 400 calories over what I should have had yesterday. I am going to pay it back with a second walk tonight.
On a happier note, I did exercise this morning but will save my meditation for tonight. I got up at 5am but realized that I will need to get up at 4 in order to do my meditation and my walk without feeling like I am under the gun.
I'm excited about today and happy to have my life. I love it!!!! I hope everyone is feeling well. Hugs to me and to you! -S.
My daughter stood behind me saying "Just stop eating it, Mom"and I was all "I can't!!!!" It was, in a word, DELICIOUS. However, I do have some remorse today as I was doing well. Long story, short I was 400 calories over what I should have had yesterday. I am going to pay it back with a second walk tonight.
On a happier note, I did exercise this morning but will save my meditation for tonight. I got up at 5am but realized that I will need to get up at 4 in order to do my meditation and my walk without feeling like I am under the gun.
I'm excited about today and happy to have my life. I love it!!!! I hope everyone is feeling well. Hugs to me and to you! -S.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
10/22/13 - Morning
So, this morning started off with meditation. 40 minutes of meditation as a matter of fact. It was excellent! I feel at ease in my spirit this morning and that is way more than I am able to thank God for, but thanks anyway, BIG GUY!!!
I found a really cool app named "Lose it!" for iphone. I'm not sure if it is available on android or not. Anyhoo, it helps to log the food that you are eating, tracks the calories in the food, provides a target calorie range and shows how much fat, carbs, sat fat, fiber, sodium, etc. that you are eating. It even allows you to log your exercise and gives you more calories as a treat!!! Woohoo!
I walked this morning as well and it was a nice walk (I took my little dog too) :0). I am still feeling motivated. Which is good for me. I usually can find some reason to take a break or quit but so far so good. Day by day.
While I was listening to my guided meditation, it talked about listening to your body for hunger queues and it said that if you are hungry and want something sugary, bready, or sweetie then you are NOT hungry. Any true hunger should be able to be satiated with a bit of protein, veg, or a small piece of fruit, or a handful of nuts. This actually made sense to me. Halloween is upon us kiddies and that means sweets in my house. I am dreading it. Food is truly an addiction and I have decided I am going in recovery. My stomach was giving me the blues yesterday just begging me for food, anything....and my mouth was in cahoots!!! Trying to sabotage my heart and head. I fought the good fight though and didn't have any slip ups! I deliberately had my nightcap but after logging that and really for the first time seeing how many calories are in it...I'm like....hmph. NOT WORTH IT. So, gotta figure out a different way to cap my night.
Sugar-free crap......I don't think there is much more to say about that except that....crap. The less of that crap I eat and add to coffee and tea or whatever, the less I want the real thing.....imagine that...wanting a real version of a morphed duplication. The mind ponders. lol. Not really. Stay off of sugar free crap. It gives you diabetes.....how do I know??? Check my sugar. Well, I'm off to enjoy my workday. Hugs and Love to me and you. -S.
I found a really cool app named "Lose it!" for iphone. I'm not sure if it is available on android or not. Anyhoo, it helps to log the food that you are eating, tracks the calories in the food, provides a target calorie range and shows how much fat, carbs, sat fat, fiber, sodium, etc. that you are eating. It even allows you to log your exercise and gives you more calories as a treat!!! Woohoo!
I walked this morning as well and it was a nice walk (I took my little dog too) :0). I am still feeling motivated. Which is good for me. I usually can find some reason to take a break or quit but so far so good. Day by day.
While I was listening to my guided meditation, it talked about listening to your body for hunger queues and it said that if you are hungry and want something sugary, bready, or sweetie then you are NOT hungry. Any true hunger should be able to be satiated with a bit of protein, veg, or a small piece of fruit, or a handful of nuts. This actually made sense to me. Halloween is upon us kiddies and that means sweets in my house. I am dreading it. Food is truly an addiction and I have decided I am going in recovery. My stomach was giving me the blues yesterday just begging me for food, anything....and my mouth was in cahoots!!! Trying to sabotage my heart and head. I fought the good fight though and didn't have any slip ups! I deliberately had my nightcap but after logging that and really for the first time seeing how many calories are in it...I'm like....hmph. NOT WORTH IT. So, gotta figure out a different way to cap my night.
Sugar-free crap......I don't think there is much more to say about that except that....crap. The less of that crap I eat and add to coffee and tea or whatever, the less I want the real thing.....imagine that...wanting a real version of a morphed duplication. The mind ponders. lol. Not really. Stay off of sugar free crap. It gives you diabetes.....how do I know??? Check my sugar. Well, I'm off to enjoy my workday. Hugs and Love to me and you. -S.
Monday, October 21, 2013
10/21/13 - Morning
When I started this blog I had the best intentions. Thoughts on becoming a new me, thinking "This is it!, this is the diet I have been looking for that is going to change my existence". I was a fool. There is nothing wrong with the diet or me. I can tell you though that I am the same weight as when I started this nearly two years ago. Why? Good question, and I do not have an answer for you.
I am in poor health. I have diabetes and high blood pressure and I am obese. I live a sedentary lifestyle and I don't miss my ritual nightcap(s) either. Why would I want this life? Why would I continue to CHOOSE to live this way on a daily basis. Why would I enjoy this? Yes, I must enjoy it or I would not continue to live this way.... maybe I feel trapped. My relationship with food is like that of a battered spouse. I keep letting myself be abused by my intake of its "love". I won't reach out for help, I'm scared to leave, I make plans to leave and start anew and I keep laying down with it every night.
I am trying again. I am in escape mode....again. Am I looking for support? NO. Am I looking for someone to identify with me? NO. Am I trying to figure out who the hell I have become.....maybe. My struggle with what I allow in my mouth and what I do with my body is the biggest obstacle I have ever dealt with in my life. Food has been my friend, my lover, my mother, my father, my brother, my sister, my child, my teacher, my preacher and even my demi-god. I have worshipped chocolate chip cookies. I have worshipped a fat steak. Either way it goes, food has an addictive control over my life. It is my slave master. I am owned.
So, how do I change this? How do I morph this. I have no clue. But I am going to try again. Right now. Not next week or after breakfast or in the morning. Right now. I forgive myself for failure in the past. I will no longer be the toy of an inanimate object. I will control my mouth and my body. They have been issued to me to take care of and I have a job to get done. I pray you find your way as well. Hugs to all. I'm back. -S.
I am in poor health. I have diabetes and high blood pressure and I am obese. I live a sedentary lifestyle and I don't miss my ritual nightcap(s) either. Why would I want this life? Why would I continue to CHOOSE to live this way on a daily basis. Why would I enjoy this? Yes, I must enjoy it or I would not continue to live this way.... maybe I feel trapped. My relationship with food is like that of a battered spouse. I keep letting myself be abused by my intake of its "love". I won't reach out for help, I'm scared to leave, I make plans to leave and start anew and I keep laying down with it every night.
I am trying again. I am in escape mode....again. Am I looking for support? NO. Am I looking for someone to identify with me? NO. Am I trying to figure out who the hell I have become.....maybe. My struggle with what I allow in my mouth and what I do with my body is the biggest obstacle I have ever dealt with in my life. Food has been my friend, my lover, my mother, my father, my brother, my sister, my child, my teacher, my preacher and even my demi-god. I have worshipped chocolate chip cookies. I have worshipped a fat steak. Either way it goes, food has an addictive control over my life. It is my slave master. I am owned.
So, how do I change this? How do I morph this. I have no clue. But I am going to try again. Right now. Not next week or after breakfast or in the morning. Right now. I forgive myself for failure in the past. I will no longer be the toy of an inanimate object. I will control my mouth and my body. They have been issued to me to take care of and I have a job to get done. I pray you find your way as well. Hugs to all. I'm back. -S.
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