I thought it was okay to speak. WRONG.

Hello All,

Okay, so I had the worst day at work and it didn't start being horrible until I said something to a co-worker in an attempt to improve a process and was reprimanded for not bringing my "concerns" to my manager. There wasn't anything to bring to my manager though, it was just a conversation between co-workers. Damn me for trying to handle my affairs on a peer level though. I just don't get it. Or, actually, I do get it. Very well as a matter of fact, its others that don't get it. After being a manager previous to getting this job, its hard to not see how to improve a process and not act on it without feeling like I need to take it to the top of the food chain to get it done. I would just appreciate a little more respect and trust. If I have something that management needs to do something about, I will get it together in a presentable fashion and take it there, but I have to be allowed to talk to my co-workers. Sad, but the only thing I got out of today was to "keep your mouth shut". I work in an office, not blood diamond mines, so I thought it was okay to speak. WRONG.

Anyway, I have been off my plan for two days so far because I ate veg and drank liquor yesterday. So, I'm sure my liver is stuffed full of glycogen which throws me out of ketosis. Counterproductive. I will try harder and get better and stop it already with the need for cocktails. lol. Seriously though. I will.

Slacked off on my water and need to get better with that. Gotta go grocery shopping today and stock up on some stuff. I had crab sticks for the first time ever today and I must say, I love them, like want to marry crab sticks type of love them. I ate about 12 of them today, maybe 16. Overboard, I know, but it was soooooo good. They are stuffed with sodium, like 490 mg of sodium in it. It may be the brand, but I can't roll like that because of my blood pressure. So many issues for a woman so young. I'm gonna get it together. That was like eating 6 tv dinners......ugh.

I am gonna try to get this stupid ass situation off my mind and not get consumed by someone else's dream. I just know that everything happens for a reason and this reason is to understand how to value someone trying to help me because I know now how it feels to get shot down for trying. Good day, I said Good Day!

Hugs....

miserable in the process of getting happy

I am more prepared today but there is feta cheese on my salad and there is cheddar in my omelette. I got it from a restaurant, because I was not prepared.

I'm at work, my water is frozen so I'm drinking from a cup instead of my bottle.

I did eat my yogurt and wheat germ though and I am having an alright day so far.

I drank last night. I could have resisted more but I didn't. So now I feel like I can make it another month without a drink and I will be just fine. I have to make some room for a tasty beverage now and then though. That's just gonna have to be the rule. I'm not gonna be miserable in the process of getting happy....that's counterproductive.

I am still staying away from sugar and breads and keeping it as lean as possible on what meat and veg I am consuming. I have to workout and all is well.

I hope everyone who visits me is having a wonderful day. I send good vibes of love to you all!

P.S. I resisted the urge to weigh myself.....woo hoo!

Hugs....

Hot Dog Salt Crap Madness

So my head feels like it's about to burst off right now because I have been stuck eating hot dogs (lean kosher) but hot dogs alllllllllllllll day long. Hot Dogs and I don't usually get along anyway however, due to lack of planning, I now have to deal with this.

Note to self: Cook some food for the next day. You can't just wing it anymore! Winging it is what got you over 300 pounds....get up and cook for your health....no more hot dog days. blech....

So, I am going to get to my 5 Liters of water today. I'm drinking my third right now so I know I can do it. I'm excited because this will be my first day with 5 under my belt. 3 has become very easy to do and 5 will be all I need for the day. So excited about that.

I have to make sure I pick up a card so Mom can get something in the mail on Saturday, it's nice to get greeting cards instead of bills in the mail. I am gonna go pick one up today.

I was thinking that my blog is probably supposed to be informative and help people grow personally and change and have new insights and blah blah blabbity blah, but I also realized that I am not Sally Jesse and this ain't her blog either.

This is a place for me to spout my random logic and to complain and to celebrate. I'm not gonna take myself too seriously here. This is meant to be helpful in keeping myself on track, so that when things are looking bleak I can reflect on how far I have come in this journey and pull up my boot straps and keep stomping.

Another person's blog that I subscribe to was saying how they ate (pause: I feel like I am gonna get a nosebleed right now from all this hot dog salt crap madness...extra lean...HA) pizza and drank booze, pretty much just caved in to some desires that they had been having in the midst of their Dukan journey......I wanted to comment on the post but because my phone sucks and I can't find the blog from my computer I will just comment here......

To Shann's Blog something: Choose Life. If life for that moment means to you pizza and booze, then have some pizza and booze. The important part is getting over that part and getting back to your "goals" in life and you made a goal to do the Dukan and get it together, stick to it and get there. Everyone is on your side and pulling for you, everyone that matters that is. It takes a long time to break bad habits and you are not a machine or computer so don't beat yourself up. You confessed it in a public forum, even flogged yourself some, now stop the punishment and tell us about what you are doing to get back on track. You wouldn't know the feeling of success if you didn't know the acrid taste of failure. Be happy you can still feel to know that you still want to change.

Alright, that's all I have to say about that.

I am ready to go home already. I love my job. I do. But I love being at home too....Kinda like doing the Dukan and wanting Pizza and booze huh? lol. Such is life.

Hugs...

I am not going to weigh myself daily anymore.

This day is a nightmare so far!!!!!!!!!!!!! Eek a mouse!

I'm not prepared at all. Just stuffed some turkey slices and some kosher extra lean beef franks down my gullet and I'm about to jump on my training call with some clients that are very unhappy with their lives. Great.

I am not going to weigh myself daily anymore. It's too frustrating. I am moving to Saturday weigh-ins. Shanna just started yesterday and she is down about 2 pounds so that is excellent! I'm proud of her but she wasn't prepared today either. I tried to tell her when we were making a mad dash through the grocery store to get food to eat, but noooooooo So she is going until 2pm without food.......pay attention people, NOT the way to start the attack phase. But she will get that point by day's end.

I am going to make it a point to get out of the house this evening and take a 30 minute stroll. I keep sitting on my hind parts and not moving and it is not conducive to the plan, so I am cheating purely by not walking, which is reeeedonkulusss......and it will stop immediately!

I am going to have my yogurt and wheat germ for dessert tonight since I fouled up and didn't have any on hand this morning.

I will make this day grate, I mean great. ( tee hee) It's only going up from here. I'm happy anyway and I have on some pants that I couldn't wear before so that's a huge step in the right direction.

Hugs...

3 liters of water a day

Sade....there are not enough good words to say about her. Thank you Shanna for leaving that loaded in the deck today...you rock from left to right!

I'm getting all antsy about getting to 320....I know, it took me my whole life to get this weight on and its gonna take some time to get it off, but doggone it!

Alright, I just needed to get that little rant out of my system. I have a really busy week at work. I think I mentioned this already but it's only Tuesday and I really need to go out. But, I'm being good and behaving myself.

I had a really great lunch of salmon, ground sirloin and green beans today. It was really good. I'm up to drinking a minimum of 3 liters of water a day and my skin appears to be clearing up some as well.

Just wanted to update and say hello to the world.

Hugs!

verdict : 326.5

verdict : 326.5

so i am down a little more. i am typing from my phone so thats all for now.

hugs.....

NOT QUITTING

Hello Again,

Verdict: 327.3

Okay, so I'm back down some today and I am wondering if I should just ease back to having a weigh in once a week instead of everyday because I am officially on a roller coaster (hands up and outside of the cart and all). Except, I don't throw my hands up because I'm having the best time ever, I am throwineng them up because I want to quit!!!! NOT QUITTING, however, it's not helpful to feel like I have ballooned out of control on one day and the next that I'm down and feeling happy again. I'm not gonna be able to do that to myself and stay on track. I know me and I know that I get too wrapped up in numbers and totally discount the way I feel.

It's back to work again for me today. I don't have any food prepared, which I am going to take care of in just a  moment here. I have a gang of implementations coming down the pipe, so I will need to be very effort focused on having the right foods on hand. I have to be on the phone with clients at 4 hours at a time to train on the software they purchased from us. So, to prevent myself from munching on shelf stable crap, I am going to need to be sure to have some bite size protein available and on hand. Maybe a lil dip of NF cream cheese and dijon would be awesome with my "bite size" stuff as well.

This morning I am feeling a little anxious and tired. I stayed up until 3am because I couldn't sleep. The good news about that though is that I did get in about 10 minutes of Zumba. I know that is like nothing but it is more than I have been doing in the way of exercise, so that was a triumph for me and I will take them as they come.

I am going to focus on drinking water and NOT SMOKING for the first day. I am very motivated right now, even though I am sharing my "true" feelings, I do need to say that I feel it is the right time to get this smoking thing done for good. I wanna whiten my teeth and I can't do that while I am busy browning them.....kinda counteractive. Besides, since I haven't really STARTED exercising, I can replace my cigarette cravings with ACTIVITY. Novel idea, right? I know, I will thank me later. As for now, I'm going to try to quit smoking. It's weird that I just decided to stop smoking in the middle of my post.......random. Whatever, I'm gonna go with it.

I'm gonna come up with my own motivation phrase each day as well..... :0)

Here goes the first one: Stupid people, don't join em....beat em, but not about the head and shoulders that's just gonna wear you out and make them ask why the sky keeps falling.

Alright, so maybe not motivational to all but I get where I'm coming from, so since this is my blog and I have zero comments so far, that works for me.....lol....I'm silly.

Hugs....

Verdict: 330.1

Verdict: 330.1

So, apparently I have jacked myself up over the weekend. Very disappointed. However, its my fault and I need to get it in gear.

Nuff said.

Hugs.....

Chateau Mommy

Morning All!

I am sorry I didn't post yesterday. I have been vacationing at my mom's house. I added another attack day because I was not prepared to go into my cruise. I just didn't have my hair done and didn't wanna leave the house so I just stuck to protein. I miss my wheat germ and my chobani in the morning....Only one day though so no real complaints to make about that.

I am going to get myself on track today for the cruise....may be another attack day....don't know quite yet because I still don't have a meal planned for the day and I don't know exactly when I am leaving out to go home yet either. So I will just play it by ear.

Not sure if I lost anything yesterday, I didn't get on the scale. I did cheat though. I had some chicken wings from the Chicken Shack, which has some O-MAZING wings. They aren't as good as they used to be when I was a teen but they still have the same taste. The cheat part of that is that it had oil and the skin. Otherwise it was all protein.

I need to get some okra and cook it. I will try Calarda's recipe and use Pam for the oil instead. I will let you know how it turns out.

I should have checked my measurements at the beginning of this but I didn't so I don't have that added motivator and at this point I don't wanna get obsessed with it so I am going to leave that alone and judge by how my clothes feel instead.

Alright,well I am off for now. I will update later or tomorrow. It's back to work again. Sad that vacation is over but glad to be going back to my job too!

Hugs...