2 Miles

Hey there!

I just discovered yesterday that I have actually been walking two miles a day all this time!!!! I clocked the distance in my car and was truly amazed to realize that from point A to point B was a full mile. Since I have to get back home after my walk.....that's right.... TWO MILES!

I'm doing a happy dance, trust me you are happy just for not being able to see it...lol. Either way, it explains the soreness and the soreness actually went away for the first time yesterday too.....

I totally blew off my walk yesterday and I don't even have a real reason why, I just didn't do it. When I don't get up and do it first thing in the morning, the day provides all kinds of excuses for me not to do it later. That is a trap that I have come to recognize and I must overcome that for my own personal reasons.

I find myself thinking while I'm walking....who am I cheating if I walk slower? Who is getting the short end of the stick when I weasel my way out of making good choices? No one but me. I am the one who reaps the guilt, frustration, bad feelings, depressed mood. Me. I have to do myself a solid and remember that when I am fantasizing about doing less than my best.

I read some blogs to try to get myself more motivated and it kinda did the opposite. I wanted to read the experiences of others who walked 2 miles a day and how it made them feel, what kind of changes they discovered in their mind, body and spirit. You know what I found instead? People who were fit going on and on about how walking was the laziest exercise every and barely kept you basically fit. What a crock of shit. The all or nothing mentality is what keeps people obese and shunning themselves. Every step you take toward a better you is quite the opposite of lazy. It is empowering. I encourage myself and others to keep taking just that one step to a better you.

If one step toward a better you is 4 donuts instead of 5, so be it. Next time go down to 3 instead of 4 you donut lover you......

I'm learning that some is better than none when it comes to taking care of myself specifically. The try is where the change is made. I'm going to keep trying.

I was standing in the kitchen at work and I was like what is that feeling on my booty area???!!! Guess what it was...a space between my butt cheek and my thigh...lmao....I have a booty cheek now and not just what I lovingly called that area, "my butthigh" (buh thy). I don't recall every feeling that piece of booty before.... I likey.

Hugs and love to all! -S.

Super Irritated

I know, I know.... right on the heels of a wonderful mindset type of day, here I come with the BS.

I woke up with a negative attitude this morning. I didn't want to get up, didn't want to go walk, didn't want to drink water, didn't want to shower, didn't want to get dressed, didn't want to pack lunches, didn't want to, rinse. repeat....blah blah blahhhhhhh

Well, I pushed through it all. I would like to add that I did not smoke a cig this morning. I just didn't want anything. I have some rotten little cuss in my head that is making me want to go in a dark closet and sit there and just mumble mean things. I have ZERO reason as to why.

Is this normal when beginning an exercise program? I want it to go away. I am a positive and sunny side up person. So, this presence is very toxic to me. Low energy vibrations right now.

Maybe I'm dehydrated? My muscles are still so sore....its like a new one hurts every day. I can feel the muscles in my cheeks when I yawn...this seems wrong. I don't want a strong face. Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Okay...carry on. Hugs and Love (from a sourpuss) -S.

I Did 10 and Rested 1

Alright, here's the latest on me....

I walked one mile a day for ten days straight! I was just plain tired on the 11th day so I didn't do anything. I got up and got back out there again today!

I am threatening to walk again tonight. I feel a little guilty about missing that one day. I know I shouldn't but I set a goal to just walk a mile a day for the rest of my days. I guess that was unrealistic? I was also going to punish myself by making myself count my days over from the beginning.....but that is counterproductive too.

I have to learn to be nicer to myself. I am working on it. I'm noticing that walking is also helping me cleanse myself of anger. I'm pretty angry most of the time and it comes from all kind of places, but I push it down and I don't address it. Walking gives me a moment away from even my own self. I think it is making me feel happier. I will continue testing that theory...stay tuned.

Changes I have noticed so far:

None physically. Oddly enough every time I start working out I feel like I am bigger than I was before....and the pain from being sedentary is fairly pronounced. I feel super old and out of shape. Which I am, but I'm working on it. While showering, I did notice that I saw a bit more of my hip than I am used to seeing, so something is rearranging at the very least.

Weight check? NO. Not yet. I'm gonna try to stay off the scale until my birthday. Sept. 26. I am predicting that I will be at 290 by then. I know you are thinking...well what are you now????!!! lol. At last check I was at about 318 - 19 and that was at least two months ago. So, that is a VERY conservative estimate because I should be able to drop forty pounds by then. That's a total of  53 days. We will see where we land. Sept. 26, 2015....first updated weight check day.

I send out lots of light and love to all of you and hope that life continues to flow in a positive direction for all. Hugs and love -S.